


Until it's gone

by RavenTao



Series: Love Hurts [2]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Denial, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 22:44:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2484959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenTao/pseuds/RavenTao
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "Never the Easy Thing" Aomine deals with not having Tetsu by his side anymore and he can't tell if he's alright or not. Centered around the song Stay by Hurts</p>
            </blockquote>





	Until it's gone

**Author's Note:**

> Second part to Never The Easy Thing  
> you don't have to read the first part to get it, but it does help

_My whole life waiting for the right time_

_To tell you how I feel._

_And though I try to tell you that I need you._

_Here I am without you._

_I feel so lost but what can I do?_

_'Cause I know this love seems real_

_But I don't know how to feel._

 

He had tried to get there as fast as he could, But as usual he was fashionably late. It was only fifteen minutes, but when he saw Tetsu there, drenched through like a soggy puppy he felt his heart clench. He had always hated making Tetsu wait for him. He reached out to let Tetsu know he was there, and shivered for his boyfriend. He was freezing.

"Oi, Tetsu, you're all wet, how the hell long have you been waiting here?"

"Since 11:00." he mumbled quietly.

"If you had wanted to meet up earlier you should have said so." Feeling guilty he peeled his windbreaker off and offered it over the the smaller boy. He could have been meeting someone else here and that was why he was early. It wasn't his fault that Tetsu was so wet, it was his own. But that didn't mean he wanted Tetsu to catch a cold. He had missed whatever it was that Tetsu had said but when he shivered again Aomine was sure that he should push the subject. "You're gonna get sick Tetsu, at least take the jacket."

"Aomine kun." He didn't turn around to face him, "Please don't object to what I'm about to say."

"When you say stuff like that it makes me think that I will." he paused. "Why the hell have you been ignoring me lately?" He was paler too, if his neck was any indication. He wanted Tetsu to turn and face him, he was worried. But at the same time, he didn't. He noticed the small sigh and he wondered how he had through the noise of the rain all around them.

It was a long while before Tetsu spoke up again; "I want to break up." He finally managed to get out. His voice cracking.

"Wh-what?" Aomine was stunned.

"Please don't object. Just say yes."  _Just say yes?! Why would I do that?!_  His mind screamed.

"Tetsu! I don't understand, why do you want to break up?! Aren't I good to you? Don't you love me? Tetsu!" he reached out to touch him but he only jerked away. He didn't know what to do anymore.

"Please don't say such things Aomine kun. It was hard enough, I-" the small sobb didn't escape his attention this time. "Of course I love you. It's because I love you that I want to break up."

 

_We say goodbye in the pouring rain_

_And I break down as you walk away._

_Stay, stay._

_'Cause all my life I felt this way_

_But I could never find the words to say_

_Stay, stay._

 

"You're making no sense!"

"Please stop Aomine kun. I need to do this and if you keep pushing I'll lose my resolve." He turned to face Aomine, his right hand clenched into his wet shirt above his heart. "It hurts. I love you so much Aomine kun. I will always love you, but I can't keep this up. I have thought about this extensively. We've been through a lot,"  _A lot is an understatement_ "and you keep on getting farther and farther away from me. You say you love me, but I can seen in your eyes that you're merely standing on ceremony for my sake." He had to take a breath there. And Aomine couldn't think of what to say. Yeah he'd been doubting himself, but he didn't want to break up. "I've been hoping and praying that I was wrong, but lately … when you say you love me, it doesn't reach your eyes and it pains me to know that you're keeping this thing between us just for me." He stayed quiet as Tetsu spoke.  _Doesn't reach my eyes? … I'm sorry Tetsu, I didn't ..._

"That's not-"

"Don't say it's not true Daiki. Please don't say you love me, because I know that I love you, and I know that right now I am doing the right thing,"  _Bullshit!_  "but if you tell me that you love me right now, we'll be trapped in this mistake until one of us breaks." . Aomine was stunned.  _Mistake? That's what he thought this was? Fine. Who needed him anyway!_

_He did._

 

_Alright, everything is alright_

_Since you came along_

_And before you_

_I had nowhere to run to_

_Nothing to hold on to_

_I came so close to giving it up._

_And I wonder if you know_

_How it feels to let you go?_

 

" _Ne Aomine kun, you shouldn't sleep during class."_

" _What're you talking about? That's the best time to sleep when you're not a home."_

* * *

_[Aomine kun, I hope you're having a good time at Practice. - Kuroko]_

_[Practice is stupid. I don't like practicing with people who can't play. Why don't you just skip Seirin's practice and come over here? I can think of a few things that we could practice that's way more fun than basketball~ ;) - Daiki]_ He supposed it was around here where things started to slip. Oh how he wished he could go back in time. Do it all over again.

* * *

" _Uwaaa~ I didn't know Aominecchi and Kurokocchi were dating! How wonderful!"_

" _You don't need to make such a big deal out of it stupid Kise!"_

" _It's about time you two idiots finally got together."_

" _Congratulations Tetsuya, Daiki. Though, this better not affect practice at all, or I will have to put an end to it."_

" _Here's a cookie Kuro chin, I'm glad you're happy."_

" _Thank you."_ Tetsu had never let anything fluster him. He almost felt like the other was superhuman how he never let things bother him. It was one of the things that made Tetsu so interesting. One of the millions of reasons that he thought he loved him.

 

_You say goodbye in the pouring rain_

_And I break down as you walk away._

_Stay, stay._

_'Cause all my life I felt this way_

_But I could never find the words to say_

_Stay, stay._

 

It took a while for reality to set in. To fully realize just what he'd lost. For his heart to actually break. He had never  _stopped_  loving Tetsu. He had just hit a rough patch. Tetsu never showed any emotion other than ecstasy when they made love. It hurt to think that he might not be anything more to the bluenette than a good fuck. But his confession had confirmed what he had wanted to know, and now it was too late.

Damn him. Damn him for over thinking things. For ever questioning Tetsu. For chasing him off. It didn't matter that he knew he loved him now. It didn't matter that his own feelings were clear. He had missed out on the one thing in his life that wasn't boring. Wasn't a let down. Wasn't something that he wanted to punch in the face because they were just so bad that he couldn't control his disappointment. Tetsu was everything that had been right in Aomine's life and now he was gone.

He had made Testu cry too.

He hated that Tetsu had left him, but he hated himself more for making such a fragile person cry. Because he knew,  _now anyway_ , that even though Tetsu put up that front of indifference, he was just hiding what he truly felt. He supposed that now that he thought about it, he had to have been a real idiot to have doubted Tetsu. He really was more expressive than he had originally thought. He may not have expressed himself like everyone else, like he was used to seeing. But he smiled with his eyes, he always listened to whatever anyone needed to tell him. he never raised his voice higher than nearly a whisper, but what he said always sounded loud. Always reverberated in his soul.

And the words that kept echoing in his were the most heart wrenching things he'd ever heard. " _I want to break up." … "I love you." … "But you don't love me."_

 

_So you change your mind_

_And say you're mine._

_Don't leave tonight_

_Stay._

 

He slowly began to cope with the heart ache. He only ever lost his anger once over it when Kagami, that idiot had asked his permission to ask Tetsu out.

"He told me about you two … I figured I should ask you first."

"Ask me what first?"

"... If I can ask Kuroko out."

He'd snapped.

He'd thrown the first punch, the first slew of curses. He'd crumbled first.

"NO!"

By the end they'd both been a mess and he felt a bit better. He hadn't let the anger at himself out in over three months since Tetsu had walked away. It felt good to get it out. To beat something or someone up. He knew that Kagami hadn't done anything to warrant such a violent reaction. He had done the right thing and asked him first. For that he was glad. And he knew that Kagami could get up and walk away from this fight. He knew that if he couldn't be Tetsu's light anymore, that Kagami would be the next best person.

He could trust Tetsu to Kagami. He only hoped that Tetsu would be happier with Kagami than he had been with him.

As they both sat in that court, their backs to the fence, both with various injuries Aomine gave his permission.

"If you can make him happy … then I don't mind you being by his side." Daiki hadn't known how hard those words would be to say. They left a bad taste in his mouth, but he knew that if he didn't say them he'd feel even worse. "I want Tetsu to be happy, like he was with me when we first started our ride." He wiped at the blood trickling down his chin and took a deep breath. "Because I do love him. Still. And if it can't be me … I'm glad it's you."

Even as the years passed and Tetsu moved in with Kagami he never regretted his decision to let him go. Because he wanted Tetsu to be happy. … but even still, he couldn't bring himself to see the other. When he would come over with the other miracles for a dinner, or a party, he made it a point to try and interact a little as possible with his past light. Because Even though he wanted nothing but Tetsu's happiness, it hurt.

You never know what you had until it's gone.

Truer words were never spoken.

Because when it's all gone, all you're left with are the shards of your former being, and it hurts. Because you know he's just as broken.

 

_Stay with me, stay with me,_

_Stay with me, stay with me,_

_Stay, stay, stay, stay with me._

 

" _And I'm sure it won't be you."_

_You're wrong._


End file.
